Monday, October 17, 2005

From the "don't color us surprised' file

Children of Divorce: New Study Explores the Nasty Effects

Thus, children of divorced couples are forced to enter into an adult world of responsibilities and worries at a young age. Marquardt's survey revealed that even among those children whose parents had managed their divorce well (in terms of reducing the impact on the kids) around half agreed that they always felt like an adult, even when they were young. This proportion reached two-thirds among children whose parents' divorces were more problematic.

Following a divorce, many of the children felt they had a responsibility to protect their mothers, and a substantial number had to take on greater duties in caring for their siblings. This also happens in families where a parent dies or is seriously ill; the difference with divorce is that the children know it comes about as a result of a voluntary choice on the part of at least one parent.
The findings aren't that stunning. For those growing up in a traditional two-parent home and then raising children of their own, the study states the obvious; raising kids is a delicate, intense job that requires two people committed to the same task.

To paraphrase two parts of the above quotes: As a result of the parents acting like children (I'm not going to play with you anymore) the children have to behave like adults. As a result, the child doesn't get to mature and grow up. They simply have to grow up.

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