Holy Firewall

As a follow-up on the Firewall named Michael that defends the Vatican website, I have been thinking about what type of computer would be worthy of the name. Perhaps a brand name, Prince of the Heavenly Hosts Firewall, or simply Archangel Firewall.

Since it is named after an archangel, it must be a blade server. Many angels in scripture have use a fiery blade to repel attacks or protect paradise. I thought about Adobe's Fiery software, but having worked "with" it, I am more inclined to rank it along the lines of attempting to quench the eternal fires.

It must be a UNIX server also. Consider that Jesus related something about his operating system preference once. "there are those that are UNIX from birth (HP or Sun?), those that are made that way (LINUX?) and those that are UNIX for the Kingdom of God."

Of course the Archangel Firewall is far superior to the legacy product used by past pagan empires, such as the fire-Walls of Jericho. That defense was shown to be vulnerable to the 7 day distributed denial of service to the pagan gods. In fact it crumbled completely without even seeing a brute force attack.

Now would it be a hardware appliance or some software solution. I wager hardware as there is nothing soft about the business end of an Archangel's blade. Just as Lucifer. And software firewalls are usually full of holes and the only holy describe this firewall ends in 'y'.

The defenses are not infinite, but the support contract is endless. No need for constant upgrades here, you get the top of the line from day one. Or even prior to day one of the human time.

Recent tests have shown this product to be extremely successful in repelling remotely distributed denial of service attacks from Win95 laptops in Afghanistan on 28.8 dial-up connections.