Suggested use? Never

From a new-to-me blog, Apologetics From Scratch: via the Curt Jester comes this.

Warning Label for New Birth Control Pill

Warning, divine revelation and the Christ-given teaching authority of the Church have determined that contraception is indisputably linked to the following:

• a chronic weakening of morality within our culture (e.g. pornography and abuse)
  
• frequent exercise of dominion over the human body (e.g. embryonic stem cells and euthanasia)
• general increase in number of abortions performed annually
  
• excessive perception of women as mere objects of pleasure
• absence of temperance within marriage (e.g. adultery)
• abnormally high levels of divorce (up to twenty times higher in some studies)
• artificial notions of superiority to God and his plan for marriage and the human body
• perpetual burning sensation from rejection of grace and of God's law

It should be noted that church doctors have discovered a remedy that provides an instantaneous reversal of many of the above symptoms. If you have recently used contraception in your relationship, please see your nearest spiritual pharmacist for a prescription of absolution and penance (note: prescribed dosage of penance must be taken completely, even if symptoms appear to have diminished).

Bravo. And if I may humbly add, some secondary side-effects

• Spinal column density loss in Shepherds
• Decrease in libido (oh, wait. That is an actual side effect)
• Societal crumbling
• Falsely enhanced perception of freedom