Thursday, May 24, 2007

Suggested use? Never

From a new-to-me blog, Apologetics From Scratch: via the Curt Jester comes this.

Warning Label for New Birth Control Pill
Warning, divine revelation and the Christ-given teaching authority of the Church have determined that contraception is indisputably linked to the following:
  • a chronic weakening of morality within our culture (e.g. pornography and abuse)
  • frequent exercise of dominion over the human body (e.g. embryonic stem cells and euthanasia)
  • general increase in number of abortions performed annually
  • excessive perception of women as mere objects of pleasure
  • absence of temperance within marriage (e.g. adultery)
  • abnormally high levels of divorce (up to twenty times higher in some studies)
  • artificial notions of superiority to God and his plan for marriage and the human body
  • perpetual burning sensation from rejection of grace and of God's law
It should be noted that church doctors have discovered a remedy that provides an instantaneous reversal of many of the above symptoms. If you have recently used contraception in your relationship, please see your nearest spiritual pharmacist for a prescription of absolution and penance (note: prescribed dosage of penance must be taken completely, even if symptoms appear to have diminished).
Bravo. And if I may humbly add, some secondary side-effects
  • Spinal column density loss in Shepherds
  • Decrease in libido (oh, wait. That is an actual side effect)
  • Societal crumbling
  • Falsely enhanced perception of freedom

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