Driving under the influence of Jesus

The Curt Jester lists some of the highlights of the newly released Guidelines for Catholic transportation, Driving the Gospels

# If you are carjacked one mile, go with him two.
# If yor are hit, turn the other signal.
# Do not let your air bag become puffed up like the Pharisees
# Let not the sun go down on you road rage
# Carry your cross daily, or at least have one hanging from your rear view mirror.
# When you enter a freeway that is backed up, go and move to the lowest place and not try to merge into the front. For every one who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.
# Do not talk about your Honda so that it can be said of you "That he did not say it of his own Accord."
# Hydroplaning is not the same thing as walking on water, avoid it.
# Before Jesus peformed the miracle at Cana, he appointed a designated driver.

I would add

Thou shalt not covet they neighbor's parking space.
Remain humble even when you are giving God your Fiat.
When tempted to weave in and out of slow traffic alway remember, the first shall be last.
Cut not lest you be eternally cut off.
Remember the parable of the sheep and goats, always stay right.

And I foresee a possible document on "Weather conditions for seafaring fishermen."