The perils of life

There have been a couple of posts on other blogs I read about getting rid of television, or at least avoiding it at all costs.

The Spirit's Sword: The Downhill Slide

Catholic Dads: Food for Thought from a New Guy

Usually, a coincidence like that would lead me to wonder if God is working on me in some way. But this time I see it from a different angle. On the Catholic Dads site, the father notices the zombie like stares and the endless parade of nothing across the TV. And how life is better without it during Lent.

My wife and I used to notice the same thing. How our life was holier without watching the tube. And how raunchy it seemed again when we watched it after a time away.

But perhaps a blessing of a large family is that you just don't have time for too many vices.

Sometimes my wife wonders how others manage to keep an immaculate house or have time to mend clothes and to read. But I suspect our kids spend much more time interacting with her during the day because they aren't camped out in front of the TV. And not because they don't want to, but because we reign it in. Our oldest, #3 and #5 are TV heads. #2 usually doesn't pay much attention to it (being blind has its advantage there) and #4 gets bored with it. But #5 is at the age that he would spend all day in front of it if we let him.

So why even bother keeping it around? What value is there in it?

I find it useful as a tool to reach certain children. My daughter read all the Lord of the Rings and I finally read the books too. So as a reward for her hard work in school and as special daddy-daughter time, we are watching the LOTR movies. It is something we enjoy doing together, noting where the script leaves the book and how we imagined the characters.

But it can be more than enjoyment. Number 3 is seven years old and quite a challenge. He is very athletic but doesn't have the drive to succeed. He gets easily discouraged when the wrestling match doesn't go well and jealous when his brother does better than him. The tears flow and frustration sets it. I try to push him, encourage him and point out his strong points. But it doesn't reach him. Basically I don't know how to relate to the gifted yet undetermined boy. (as I was quite the opposite)

But he has an emotional side that is easily reached through books and movies. He will often get very sad and teary when a good movie touches his heart. So it was the other night when we watched "Facing the Giants." It is a Christian movie, very good for the budget (read: some of the acting was shallow) and didn't get too preachy; about a high school football coach that is struggling in many areas of life.

In his struggle to reach his under-achieving team, he realizes it isn't about football but about life and glorifying God in all we do. And he challenges one particularly talented but lazy boy to go beyond his self imposed limits. He does this by blindfolding him so he doesn't know where to "quit".

It struck me as similar to my boy thinking he can't do something. In one wrestling match last year he was wrestling his best match so far. But his opponent came back to tie the match and send it to overtime where the first point wins. My son got the advantage when the other boy tried to shoot in for his leg. He was on top and all he had to do was to break the boy's grip and spin to the back for the 2 point takedown. But just at the point of victory he gave up, not realizing how close he was to winning.

He thought he couldn't do any more and he was right. So he gave up.

Now I am not overly concerned about a lost wrestling match for a seven year-old. But more so for what life may throw his way and his ability to withstand the challenge of living a holy life.

So after the movie I was able to talk to him about how that football player was able to do more than he thought possible. And how I know he can do the same. God had given him talent and it was up to him to use it fully, not just in sports but in life.

So, to end the long-winded post, TV proved to be a tool for me to better understand my son. A tool for him to see how others can struggle and overcome. Without being able to use someone else's inspiration and story, I would be at a loss. And without the medium, I would have trouble relating it to my son.

Being indecent

Matthew on Catholic Dads shares his view on An Indecent Family . There is a good conversation going on in the comments, so come over and join in.

My family and I go to a diner most Sundays after church. It’s our big event of the week and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Recently, two women sitting at an adjacent table engaged in a lengthy conversation about how crazy my wife and I must be to have four children. They didn’t care if we heard. “Oh my God, I would go crazy,” she said. “Why would you have so many? It’s just…indecent.”

She had searched for that word. And sadly I think she meant it. She wasn’t trying to be shocking or speak hyperbolically for a laugh. The other woman agreed and shook her head.

I saw my seven year old girl listening to them. She understood the words but I saw in her face that she didn’t really comprehend the cruelty beneath it. I was glad for that. But sad that one day she would understand. My wife just smiled at me.

There is a divide in America. It’s talked about incessantly on television and in the press. They say it’s Republicans vs. Democrats, pro-life vs. pro-choice, and haves vs. havenots. But I think it’s something deeper. The divide in this country is between those of faith and those without faith.

It is evidenced in all those other things including how we vote, how we live, how many children we have, where they go to school but the underlying basis is faith. Do you have faith in God or not?

I believe in God. I am a punch line for the secular elite.

The topic turned to responses to the judgmental comments we receive.

I have had more than one co-worker ask if I know how that happens. Too that I always respond with a big grin, "Of course. That is why we have so many."

To the ones that suggest getting "fixed" I let them know that neutering is for dogs and cattle.

There is a divide in this country. My side seems to smile a lot more. But we also whisper nice things while mean things are said loudly. Perhaps we should keep smiling but raise our voices a little more.

But perhaps charity and the quiet witness of the sign of contradiction is what our world needs. Catholic singer Marie Bellet has a wonderful song on this called, "What I wanted to say." The gist is, can't you see these children are the best of me.

Sometimes it is the Catholic friends that can be the harshest. They should know better, but their "fun" often hurts the most.

Funny thing is, some of these same people are the ones that LOVE getting hugs from our numerous children. I almost want to ask if they can see what they are missing.

Catholic Dads

I have added a little image on the side bar that links to the Catholic Dads blog. I have joined and hope to be contributing there with some frequency.

Working moms, or moms that work

It's easy being a legislator until you stand for something.The left bank has had a field day bashing the Idaho Reps that stood for the family and being able to keep a parent home to care for the kids. Rather than tax and regulate, they look for a little personal responsibility.

Idaho's legislators don't grasp complexities of working moms


And my "working mom" wife works harder than I do keeping the kids fed, dress and educated.Not dismissing those who work OUT of the home, but the real value is in the home. Raising that next generation that will decide much of our care later in our life.

For those mothers that want to make a difference, you can be one voice out in the workforce, leaving someone else to influence your children. Or you can have 2, 3, 4 ... voices in the world as you raise your children to be citizens.

But there is no glory in that. Delayed gratification went out with the dinosaurs.

Again, no ill will for those mothers that work. We both had to work for awhile. But we are much happier now without the extra job. Kids and time together are worth much more than bigger, better toys or a bigger house.

Oh yeah, I forgot to tip the waiter. Hat tip to DFO at Huckleberries