A sucker

I am a sucker for tweaking the looney environmentalists. Cross that with proclaiming the gift of children, and we have a winner here from Promo Presto




















Those "carbon footprints" are going to be funding your social security.

And since plants need CO2, we can look at it as "Saving the rain forests, one breath at a time."

via Creative Minority Report

Hearing the Call

Father had Benediction after the Stations of the Cross tonight. Our poor two year old was rather confused when Father said it was time for Benediction. He headed for the altar. I grabbed him and asked where he was going. "He called me" was the answer. I am sure it doesn't help that is also the nickname Father has given him.

Let's hope he hears the Lord's call as clearly.

The ever present question

For those with big families is "you have how many?"

Well, Sherry at "Chocolate for your brain" has 50.  Responses, that is, to the questions.  Some of my favorite

43. Creating my own voting block for when I run for President.

38. Q: Don't you know how this works? A: Well yeah! (I always say this with a big smile)

36. With such good looking intelligent offspring, it seemed selfish to limit ourselves.

32. I can drown out anyone in an argument with pure sound. (Surround sound)

29. Defense in depth. (something about meeting the enemies at the gate)

19. Exiting Car is an event. (quite a spectacular event by the looks of the spectators.)

9. Never have to worry about being corrupted by too much wealth or material things. (there still is the issue of grandparents...)

1. Said we'd accept children lovingly from God. God took us seriously. (amen!)

And my own?  I don't have quite as many.  I have plenty of reasons, just not as quick on the wit.

10. Its all about the corporal works of mercy.  I get plenty of chances to feed the hungry, clothe the naked... without leaving home.

9. Yeah I have a basketball team of boys, but I am really a fan of football.

8. Still hoping to get it right.  Enjoying the practice.

7.  (for when I don't have all of them, and sometimes the kids beat me to this one) Yes, all mine, but not all of mine.

6. Once we hit three, they had us out numbered.  So beyond that, what difference did the number make?

5. My brothers are chiropractors, they can help you with that whiplash.

4. (for the obnoxious women that don't catch the first clue) Watch out, I am potent.

3.  Yeah I know what causes it.  And I still happen to enjoy it.

2. And so does my wife. (that is like the upper cut that closes the slack jaw from the previous response.)

1. And from a Marie Bellet song, "Can't you see these eager faces are the best of me."

Priestly service

Some of us over at Catholic Dads have recently been discussing kids at Mass. They are often a distraction, but taking them is part of their training and they belong there as Catholics.

But a thought occurred to me today at Mass for the Feast of the Immaculate Conception. As fathers, we have a priestly role for our domestic church, our family. And what would one think if the priest decided to sit down and watch the consecration because he wanted to "not be distracted" by being in the service of the people?

As a father we are consecrating our children to God, and by becoming a father we have given up the right to spend our Sunday's at Mass simply for ourselves. We become servants to our children in the way that the priest is the servant of his spiritual children. So my time at Mass is spent training and building up my children rather than immersed deeply in private prayer.

Minding the kids

I have been asked on more than one occasion how we get the children to mind so well in church.  Other than noting that from a parents perspective, they aren't always angels. 

But they do stay pretty quiet and we don't make too many trips  "out back". It occurred to me as I was interrupted from my state of awe last Sunday.  Just as Father was about to consecrate the Body of Christ, our two year old and 5 year old started squabbling and the shush was more than the tender feelings of the little one could bear.  So as he was rushed out of the pew just as he drew his breath for the second wail, I turned to see what they were fighting over.

It was nothing more than a book.  But there lies the rub.  It wasn't our book, we tend to be minimalists in our approach to Mass time entertainment.  It isn't asking too much for kids to be quiet and behave for one hour.  The youngest two draw/scribble on the little papers provided for that purpose.  But the family behind us offered one of them a book halfway through Mass.  Which was fine until the other noticed and wanted to hold it.

Entertainment only serves to promote the need for more entertainment and then the equal distribution of said entertainment.  Then there is the enforcement of the distribution, the threat of future enforcement if this one isn't followed and so forth.  Pretty soon the whole Mass is spent minding the kids rather than the kids minding their manners.

Counter-counter cultural

Got quite a link fest here. Patrick at CMR found out he is Counter-Cultural, Who Knew? Now, I can relate, but I say it is counter-counter cultural. I have commented often in the past about how bizarre and uncivil that people feel free to comment on such intimate details of their life to complete strangers.

Patrick's column leads to
Danielle Bean on being open to life. As both say, trust is probably the biggest reason we keep having more. Danielle links to a veritable meme going around the feminine side of the blogosphere 40 Reasons to Have Kids My favorite is

26. Do something to change the world. Have a child. Raise a saint.

Amen to that. I will do my best to add forty from a father's perspective, but reserve the right to stop before I reach forty. After all I am of the less creative gender.

1. My answer to those intrusive commentors, I enjoy making them.
2. Better than sex cake? I don't think so. (and I am a chocolate freak)
3. Sleep better.
4. (okay, enough about making them)
5. Kids make you a better man.
6. The first taught me to value the weak.
7. The second taught me the value of prayer (remind me to post his miracle story)
8. The third teaches me the value of Guardian Angels (notice the present tense)
9. Number 4 finally brought me out of my selfishness.
10. The fifth, well lets say my fifth is a good reason for a good fifth. A spitting image of me, but how different they can be.
11. #6 is the beauty following the beast. As collicy and feisty as #5 was, #6 is sweet and mellow.
12. The seventh (on the way) brought home the value of trusting God. Put away the charts and enjoy the married life. (thank you St. Joseph)
13. The one that died before getting here taught us the fragility of life.
14. Kids teach a guy he doesn't know everything (even before they become teenagers.)
15. I don't have to leave the house to clothe the naked
16. Comfort the sorrowing,
17. Feed the hungry. (at all hours of the day)
18. Kids teach men how to delegate, you fill the bottle, you get some diapers, you get in the car, I'll grab the baby and perhaps we can get to Mass before the 1st reading.
19. Baby nap time, what better excuse to spend a Sunday afternoon watching football that to have a sleeping baby on your chest.
20. Halfway there
21. (okay I am cheating a bit)
22. (remember the bit about the being less creative)
23. (that doesn't pertain to excuses)
24. Kids help us understand why our parents would laugh at something that wasn't funny.
25. Like a knife tempered in the fire and sharpened on a steel, kids provide both for a man's character.
26. We learn discipline starts with ourselves.
27. The family is like a small church, and what is a church without members?
28. Or a church that doesn't grow?
29. Being a man means passing on important traits to your children. Like which football team to root for (Vikings of course) and which green and gold team from cheeseland to despise.
30. Wrestling time. When can getting beat be so much fun. Some day they will be able to beat me for real. I will have to give it up a year before that.
31. Games on a winter afternoon.
32. Having more than 2 really irks the liberals.
33. Large families have much more influence on a community.
34. Listening to Theology from the back seat. I just love listening to kids talking about religion and "getting it." or even when they don't quite grasp it yet.
35. Watching young men emerge from the boys you once held.
36. Pondering which gun to clean the first time a young man comes courting.
37. Never having to wonder what lessons God couldn't teach me through my children.
38. Siblings.
39. Knowing your kids will learn by example that eternal souls are worth more than things.
40. Having kids teaches a man to be just that, a man. Me? I am a slow learner.

Whew! Got through it. Number 25 and 40 about sum it up. Kids are a blessing that sometimes don't feel like a blessing. But when you stop to count, (blessing not kids) a man realizes how much he has grown. How much God has instructed him while he was instructing the children.

What about children?

Gerald at The Cafeteria Is Closed asks the question, What's so great about children (?)

And he is seriously asking, from the standpoint of a man, why? He had over 75 comments when I got to it, so I am sure he is getting his answer and then some. But here is the view from a former self-seeking young man.

The easy answer is, what can be more fulfilling than co-creating another eternal soul?

Easy? Not a chance. Require sacrifice? Yes with a capital Y. I have six and one on the way. Did I ever envision myself as a father of many children? No. In fact I was too selfish to even want any. I have several siblings and they have many children, but I was never into babies. I hardly held a small child until mine were born. So I can relate to his questions. But the lesson of self-sacrifice was learned from raising children. I wouldn't be where I am today if not for those lessons.

So in other words, my salvation is heavily dependent on my children.

And as I have told my older brother who has no children, either you pay now or you pay later. Having children is an expense of time, talent and treasure. But spending that now in the service of others leads to eternal rewards. Isn't that the message of Jesus Christ? Seriously, as a parent of several children, we don't have to look far for our corporal works of mercy; feed the hungry, clothe the naked, comfort the sorrowing....

In our youth, we can spend our time on ourself or we can spend it on our children. Our choice may well determine how we spend our time in our old age and eventually eternity. And who wants to be alone and still seeking our own solitary happiness then?

So there is my answer without even resorting to the joys they bring.

Lessons of the Mass

And boy do I need them today. Celebrating Mass with children ranges from profound to nearly impossible, today being the latter. Father was about to hit some great points in his homily when I had to step out with our 2 year old. Being the feast of the Birth of John the Baptist, Father was heading down the line of what John would have to say to us today (recalling that he gave his life for pointing the sin of adultery to the king.)

Hearing a bad homily would be preferable to disciplining a defiant child during Mass and I think this was a great homily. But alas, it was not to be. As I struggled with the frustration I considered what to offer the suffering up for and the salvation of my children came to mind.

The Mass and the Four Most Important Lessons of Childhood

One of the questions of the old Baltimore Catechism is, "What are the purposes for which the Mass is offered?" The answer given was fourfold:

* First, to adore God as our Creator and Lord.
* Second, to thank God for His many favors.
* Third, to ask God to bestow His blessings on all men.
* Fourth, to satisfy the justice of God for the sins committed against Him.

Adoration, thanksgiving, petition, and satisfaction—mention of these four ends found their way into many an old missal and are still a familiar feature of any traditional catechesis on the Mass. What is often overlooked, however, is the relation of these ends to our own concrete lives as human beings. How exactly do these four things relate to our psychological, emotional, and spiritual welfare?

One way to approach this question is to consider the four most important things that we learn to say as children: "I love you," "Thank you," "Please," and "I’m sorry." These four simple sayings are not only capable of directing both young and old onto the path toward human happiness; they also provide a useful analogy for what happens at every Sacrifice of the Mass.

Not being a product of the Baltimore Catechism, I had never heard this before.

Behind these simple expressions, then, lies a sound moral anthropology, a broad outline of the good life. Ideally speaking, a person who is capable of saying "I love you" and meaning it is capable of commitment, devotion, and self-sacrifice. A person who is capable of saying "thank you" and meaning it recognizes, as we will see, the unmerited gift of his existence and his debt to a broader world he did not create.

A person who is capable of saying "please" and meaning it confesses his dependence on a reality outside himself and rejects the principle that might makes right, transcending the debilitating egoism that would leave him, to paraphrase Sir Walter Scott, a vile wretch concentered all in self. And finally, a person who is capable of saying "I’m sorry" (or for more minor offenses, "excuse me") and meaning it makes the difficult but crucial breakthrough into unflattering and unglossed self-knowledge, mustering the courage to acknowledge his faults and the resolve to redress them.

Perhaps that is why those words are so often the most difficult to say. Especially when saying them our children.

Our comparison between the four ends of the Mass and the four great things we learn as children also gives one final insight into the importance of the Eucharistic sacrifice. To think of Mass "attendance" as a legalistic burden imposed on us by the Church is as impoverishing as thinking of manners as mere extensions of parental power and caprice. Though by no means sufficient, manners are nevertheless instrumental in orienting us to the created order, and when they are appropriated properly, they help actuate our full potential as human beings. Similarly, the adoration, thanksgiving, petitions, and satisfaction we make at Mass orient us to the Creator of our nature, actuating not simply our native potential, but our capacity to participate in the very Godhead itself.

To be able to say "I’m sorry," "I love you," "please," and "thank you" to our Heavenly Father through the mediation of His Son and under the guidance of His Spirit is not only a unique privilege for a lowly creature; it is a steadily transformative act. And to that we can only say, Deo gratias.

Building blocks

Eric over at Square Zero takes a look at gender roles and how his 5 daughters and 1 son are different in their play. Now I have been blessed with 1 girl and 5 boys, so it is quite the opposite for me. Their isn't much "quiet" time in our house until the lights are out and I am well into my glass of Pinot Noir.

Square Zero: Boys and Girls at Play

That, it seems to me, is the way a father ought to relate to his daughters play—not to attempt to re-engineer it (by the way, a distinctly masculine notion to begin with), but simply to appreciate and enjoy it for what it naturally is.
And that is, come to think of it, the proper orientation to everything.

With boys, the gist is the same. I am often frustrated with my boys being boys. They are loud, one can't play any game with others without screaming and there is always seems to be an eventual injury. Mostly it is frustrating when I try to hold a conversation with my wife when I get home.

However, I let them know that if they want to play that way, they have to take it outside or downstairs. And as most veteran parents can attest, I don't jump at the first sound of crying or the bellow of an injured participant. They play rough, they take the punishment, that is how I see it.

It always amazes me how the boys will be attracted to whatever task I am doing. Something as simple as mowing the lawn will attract one or two on different occasions. One wants to pull start the mower each time, another just studies how it all works as I trudge back and forth. And just let me start building something, they come in force.

This Saturday, I was working on some props for my daughters Lord of the Rings birthday party. Nothing too fancy, but the playset became Helm's Deep with banners, swords and other weapons they had built; even Gimli's axe. A simple siege engine and a catapult adorned one corner of the yard and the trampoline became Mt. Doom. I think building it was more fun than the actual party and acting it out for my boys. They pitched right in hauling logs and bringing rocks for the catapult.

A matter of preference

Part or today's sermon focused on religious vocations and promoting a diocese program for increasing vocations. In my opinion we don't spend enough time or energy encouraging our youth to consider the religious life.

But my question is how should we best promote them? Our priest made the point that we let our young singles that they would make a good priest or brother or sister. That struck me as the wrong approach. I recall from the conversion story of Fr. Isaac Mary Relyea, he contends that following the wrong vocation could seriously jeopardize our soul.

So who are we to say that someone would make a good priest or nun? At least without serious prayer and discernment, we shouldn't make that assumption. It strikes me people make that comment to a boy that has trouble fitting in or a girl is unattractive.

Sorta like, well you haven't amounted to much, so have you considered the consolation prize?


Should we not encourage them to pray to know God's will in their life? And if we wish to have an influence, do some of the praying for them?

And we have Paris in the headlines

Some 800,000 Russian children are living in orphanages, many abandon, neglected and some just left to die. And we have Paris Hilton and more U.N. propaganda on global warming in the headlines.



NPR : Russia's Halt on Adoptions Spotlights Conditions

Russian authorities have suspended the work of foreign adoption agencies. That has put into limbo the plans of many Americans waiting to adopt Russian children, even as human rights groups say a growing number of institutionalized children in Russia are living — and dying — in wretched conditions.

Most of the nearly 800,000 children called orphans in Russia still have living parents.

So these aren't just orphans, but also abandon or runaways.

A baby lies crying in a decrepit, wooden maternity hospital in Russia's poverty-stricken Far North. Many child advocates say places like these are where the problems start. Hospital staff often try to persuade parents of babies with disabilities to give them over to state care. Poverty and alcoholism also drive parents to abandon their children.

Sergei Koloskov, head of the Down Syndrome Society, says that contrary to government figures, the number of orphans in Russia is growing — and overloading the state's orphanage system.

"Healthy babies are lying in hospital beds all day as if they were sick, sometimes for months or longer," Koloskov says. "They're completely ignored. No one plays with them or provides any kind of stimulation. That happens because orphanages where they're supposed to go after birth are full."

Experts say that the lack of attention at an early age seriously harms a child's development. Elena Olshanskaya started a group of volunteers to help children in hospitals after noticing abandoned babies in rooms at the hospital where she gave birth.

"I was stunned," she says. "They were completely alone. They were fed several times a day and that was it. After a while, they just stop crying."

Last winter, another patient in a central Russian hospital noticed a room of abandoned babies with their mouths taped shut to stop them from crying. Her cell phone video shocked the country when it was played on national television. Reports of babies tied down in their cots are common. Many believe that's because hospital staff are seriously overworked.

Being indecent

Matthew on Catholic Dads shares his view on An Indecent Family . There is a good conversation going on in the comments, so come over and join in.

My family and I go to a diner most Sundays after church. It’s our big event of the week and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Recently, two women sitting at an adjacent table engaged in a lengthy conversation about how crazy my wife and I must be to have four children. They didn’t care if we heard. “Oh my God, I would go crazy,” she said. “Why would you have so many? It’s just…indecent.”

She had searched for that word. And sadly I think she meant it. She wasn’t trying to be shocking or speak hyperbolically for a laugh. The other woman agreed and shook her head.

I saw my seven year old girl listening to them. She understood the words but I saw in her face that she didn’t really comprehend the cruelty beneath it. I was glad for that. But sad that one day she would understand. My wife just smiled at me.

There is a divide in America. It’s talked about incessantly on television and in the press. They say it’s Republicans vs. Democrats, pro-life vs. pro-choice, and haves vs. havenots. But I think it’s something deeper. The divide in this country is between those of faith and those without faith.

It is evidenced in all those other things including how we vote, how we live, how many children we have, where they go to school but the underlying basis is faith. Do you have faith in God or not?

I believe in God. I am a punch line for the secular elite.

The topic turned to responses to the judgmental comments we receive.

I have had more than one co-worker ask if I know how that happens. Too that I always respond with a big grin, "Of course. That is why we have so many."

To the ones that suggest getting "fixed" I let them know that neutering is for dogs and cattle.

There is a divide in this country. My side seems to smile a lot more. But we also whisper nice things while mean things are said loudly. Perhaps we should keep smiling but raise our voices a little more.

But perhaps charity and the quiet witness of the sign of contradiction is what our world needs. Catholic singer Marie Bellet has a wonderful song on this called, "What I wanted to say." The gist is, can't you see these children are the best of me.

Sometimes it is the Catholic friends that can be the harshest. They should know better, but their "fun" often hurts the most.

Funny thing is, some of these same people are the ones that LOVE getting hugs from our numerous children. I almost want to ask if they can see what they are missing.

3, as in divine

My daughter had a rather humorous and somewhat profound thought on the number 3. A bit off as 3 doesn't refer to perfection, but to divine.

She mused that it is funny how with 3 being divine(she mistook it for perfection), but when dealing with movies, 3 is usually the number of worthlessness. The plot (if it even follows the first one at all) is stretched so thin and usually it is just a collection of one-liners gleaned from other movies. (or I might add, one-liners rejected from the first two scripts.)

Perhaps the number 3 is divine if the source of the 1 is good. If the source is only Hollywood, the inverse is true.

A basic truth

The author asks a simple question of why children understand what adults don't.

Understanding Abortion Kills Children: Are We Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?

Now I know how real this is because I see it every day--adults not knowing simple truths that are obvious to children. I can take a set of fetal models or pictures of babies in the womb to any first or fifth grade class room in this country.

...

When it comes to something so simple as looking at a baby and knowing that it is a baby, we as a nation are obviously not smarter than a fifth grader. In fact we have killed over 1/3 of the fifth graders before they ever got a chance to go to school.

To me it is simple. Children still believe in the basic truth that lying is wrong. As adults, we are often working so hard to justify our own actions that lying gets a pass. The numerous skeletons in our own closet keep us from pointing out anyone else's failings.

And to a point they should. We are to remove the log from our own eye before the speck in our neighbors. But it seems that most have translated that verse to say we should hide the log in our own eye and ignore the speck in the neighbors, saying it might be right for him.