Here is a bit of loonieness to lighten up your Monday. From Lark news, a church in Arkansas prepares their congregation for the Rapture. They are so concerned about "Rapture preparedness" that they have a safety card that the ushers hold up and go through a demonstration of the proper positions to be "raptured." My preference would be the superman pose.
And the safety concerns don't end with those being taken, the exits are pointed out for those who are left.
When the Rapture happens we want saved and unsaved people alike to get through the experience safely," says Eckers. "We're especially concerned that no one get trampled, because, of course, the ushers will be gone.
"The ushers will be gone." Of course! Since they know the proper poses, they will be saved and SAFE. I wonder if they have sliding chutes out the ceiling too?
Of course the details are a bit tricky. For example, does it REALLY matter what pose you strike if God is lifting you up? Did Mary know the proper pose for her Assumption?
And of course, my favorite quote regarding the rapture.
In case of rapture, I'm STAYING!
This may all be in jest, but for those that think the rapture is real; read the Book! The rapture is compared to the flood where the only ones LEFT BEHIND were Noah and his family.
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